Some Updates for the Curious

Lots of minor announcements for today -

First, I’m now halfway down the paper for translating my resume into German.  It’s slowly coming back to me, but I’m not all that confident of its accuracy.  Luckily I know many Germans, and a few Austrians!

Second, on yesterday’s special post, I have an update.  MYB, playa that he is, got himself a hug from the girl he’s distracted by.  Playa!

Also, I’ve changed the layout of the site, but if you couldn’t tell that, then you probably aren’t smart enough to be reading these words.  Or any words, really.

That’s it for today.  I’ll be back with a Thought of the Day tomorrow, unless I get this minor short story I’m writing done enough to post at some point tonight.  Peace, bitches.

A Trip to the Adorable Side

Listen – I’m an asshole.  My sister’s told me this early, often, and at varying volumes.  And you know what they say – if you say something enough, you can make it true.

Having said that, my heart grew 3 sizes today.  My middle younger brother and oldest younger brother had piano lessons today, and I got pegged to walk them, because OYB can’t leave the house by himself without violating his Juvie-Parole.  And so, since I’d been stuck with OYB all day (he’s also expelled, for now, at least), I attempted to make conversation with MYB.  I went with the boring icebreaker, “What’d you learn in school today?”

His response? “Nothing.  I was too distracted by thinking about Mikaela.”

I then promptly learned everything there is to know about a 6th grade girl from the eyes of MYB, grilling him with the tact and finesse necessary to get information out of a 6th grader.  “Is she pretty?”  “Yeah…..”  “What color’s her hair?” “Same as mine.”  “Is she smart?”

Pause.

“Not really…”

MYB likes ‘em pretty and dumb.  Boo-yah!  I win the Older Brother Olympics.  In a few years, I just know that he’ll like them “Smart.”

Thought of the Day – January 20, 2010

So I forgot Monday and Tuesday.  I have one, maybe two readers.  Sue me.  I’m super rich and everything – I have a check from a grandmother I never see written out to the wrong person.  Apparently my last name, in her age-addled fool of a brain, is the same as my mother’s maiden name, despite her being married when I was born and married again since then.  Of guesses for my last name, that would be… at least tenth.  After such gems as “Ochocinco,” “The Most Awesome,”  or even “Galactic Overlord I.”

In an attempt to remedy this problem, I sit trying to drag my mind through the cobwebby passages that are my out-of-practice hold on the German language in order to translate my resume into the language of the Fatherland!

And so, without further ado, Today’s Thought of the Day (and by proxy, Monday and Tuesday’s as well):

Stay in school, kids.  The real world sucks big floppy donkey dick.

Thoughts of the Day – January 14, 2010

3.  My oldest younger brother is a combination of batshit crazy and unconscionably stupid.  Ran away, and is now staring down the barrel of a Felony Burglary charge.

2.  Watchmen is an incredibly good movie.  I could watch it over and over again.

1.  Pat Robertson needs to never talk.  Ever again.  I mean, seriously?  “The Haitians “were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever,” Robertson said on his broadcast (the 700 Club) Wednesday. “And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.’ True story. And so, the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal.’ ” According to this asshat, the Haitians made a pact with the devil, earning them the earthquake that’s killed as many as 100,000 people!

If he still has a show a week from now, I’ll be more surprised than anyone thought possible.