Okay. Woke up this morning, and enjoyed the shit out of Sportsnation’s Super Bowl Morning show, though I do enjoy ‘End of the Day’ and they didn’t do that this week.
Okay, I pick up from the coverage on CBS of Phil Simms’ All-Iron Team, where he assembles the most bad-ass of all the players to ever play in the Super Bowl, complete with a Caveman commercial to kick it off.
First player – Joe Jacoby, former Washington Redskin, former Hog, and teammate of brand new Pro Football Hall of Famer Russ Grimm. Offensive Lineman.
Next up – Adam Vinatieri, Kicker, New England Patriot – he would earn a Ring if the Colts win today. Beat the Rams with his magic leg. Obviously the choice here. Next!
Alright, apparently this Caveman thing is going to keep happening. *Yawn*
Well, apparently I needed to pay attention to this show beforehand, since I picked it up midway… The last position, apparently, is QB – Joe Montana. Way to throw your neck on the line, Phil. Again, a real obvious decision. Is there a reason the naming of this team is televised?
The complete team is… apparently not being recapped at the end of the show in which they’re named. Can CBS do anything right?
News! Rules of Engagement is taking Accidentally on Purpose’s slot on Monday Nights on CBS… No idea whether that means Accidentally was cancelled or not.
Shannon Sharpe - “Peyton stands more to lose with a loss today than he stands to gain with a win.” Bullshit. If Peyton loses today, he doesn’t lose a goddamn thing. He’s already the greatest Quarterback to ever play. Watch him, for Christ’s sake! Peyton Manning is a robot designed to embarrass NFL defenses.
Sun Life stadium (Previously known as Land Shark stadium as recently as the NFL Regular season) looks gorgeous, and the weather in Miami makes me want to move there. I mean…. Damn. Snowbirds are thinking clearly, while the rest of us are probably just confused.
Eww. First Tim Tebow anti-abortion commercial I’ve seen. Boring! And you know what – who the fuck cares when Tim Tebow gets drafted this April? He’s going to be rich as hell before he takes a snap from shit like this anyway, not to mention future real commercials.
Hello Sam Ryan – you’re looking good today. Very Smart. Excuse me, but I need a moment.
Man, CBS’ pregame should be good. Except that the left side (JB, Marino, Cowher) makes the right side (Sharpe, Simms) look like idiots. It’s just a profound difference in capability. That’s right… PROFOUND. Cut out the S’s and you’d have a damn fine 3-man pregame show.
Though, Sharpe does do really well in their pieces where they need someone to interact with ‘real’ people – the stints where they interact with fans.
Oooh. I Love Sweet Tea. Does anyone know if McDonald’s Sweet Tea is any good? Please Comment with the goods, internet.
Dick Enberg! Hey, let’s class the place up! He just handsomes up the place. Kind of like how I handsome up the internet. Too bad they seem to be using him only to introduce a bit on this kid, Thamail Morgan, from Arkansas, and Kimble … something who died in a car wreck. Their teams played each other to open the season, and Thamail’s team was spanking them. Thamail kneeled away a sure TD at the end of the game, the picture of sportsmanship – from a kid who’d been kicked out of his last school for failing two drug tests. Awesome.
Thamail is being recruited, again, by a whole bunch of schools. His 3 offers so far come from Alcorn State, Louisiana Tech, and Memphis. Turns out some kids need to just be taken out to the sticks and be touched by the memory of a great kid to remake their life.
Eww. Leslie Visser pretty much just looks old, and fake. Bring back Sam! Bring back Sam! Sam Ryan! (Google her. Mmmm… No, not the Porn Star Samantha Ryan. Well, wait….)
Man. Larry Fitzgerald is lucky he’s huge and athletic, because he looks like a nerd in his glasses. Darrelle Revis doesn’t even let Larry Fitzgerald catch the ball in jogging practice in suits. Awesome. “REVIS ISLAND” chants ensue.
Guy Fieri… meh. He’s no Bobby Flay, who I watched dominate in Battle Avocado on Iron Chef America before going to sleep last night. Putting Bobby Flay against a Canadian w/ the secret ingredient being Avocado just isn’t fair. Not even a little bit!
Man. They check the credentials of guys GETTING OFF OF THE TEAM BUSES! Super Bowl security is tight, and rightly so. But that seems a little excessive, yeah? Who else could Dwight Freeney be, but Dwight Freeney? Also, do you think they checked Peyton Manning, or just waved him through?
Who Dat! Who Dat! Who Dat! Who dat think they gonn’ beat dem Saints?! YEAH!!!!!!
Sorry, the blog was getting pretty negative, and it’s the SUPER BOWL, BABY! LIGHTEN UP!
Man… Robert Christy’s an 87 year old man whose house is just a foundation after Katrina. I can’t even IMAGINE what he’s going through. My feelings towards throwing money down New Orleans are generally negative, from a practical viewpoint, but I feel bad for the people, from a personal standpoint. Makes it tough to be an asshole, when you put a face on the people. Get some camera crews to Haiti, maybe there’ll be a few “Fuck Haiti, we have our own problems” espousers who can shut up for a moment. I know I may appear a hypocrite, but Haiti’s a whole country, not just one great city in a terrible location.
Question – if you’re Peyton Manning, do you resign with the Colts, or hit the Open Market and get PAID after next season? It sure seems like Peyton will sign with the Colts, because he’s Peyton.
Oooh… in depth! Referee scouting results from Charlie Casserly!
Scott Green is the Referee, he and the crews he leads kill false starts and offensive holding. Let’s pay attention to that during the game, and feel fancy and elegant in our knowledge of football.
Dude. Just saw a KGB commercial, and finally realized something neat – the girl in those ads has been on Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother, and the Big Bang Theory – 3 of my top 10 favorite TV shows, ever. NICE. Doesn’t hurt that she’s SMOKING hot. Elizabeth Bogush. Hubba! Completely underrated hottie.
Hey!!! It’s Dubya and Slick Willy, here for Haiti. How can you say no to THAT? And if that isn’t enough, what about the kindergartners who gave their penny collection they were saving for an ice cream party who gave it Haiti instead? Wowza, kids. Just… wowza.
Drew Brees is in the building! And so is Spike Lee. Let’s get it Started!
I see Dwight Freeney’s “The league has no Defensive Faces” and raise him “Ray Lewis, Brian Urlacher, and Troy Polamalu.” Just because you’re dominated on your own team by the NFL’s second most famous player (see: Favre, Brett) doesn’t mean that’s the case for the whole NFL.
15 Minutes until the 2-hour mark of the pregame, when we’ll take a short break to pee, grab a snack, etc. Don’t worry, we WILL be back right after then.
Back to a return of Fitzgerald’s guest appearance on Revis Island as Cowher displays the bunch formation of the Saints. Man, Fitzgerald is smart, too. NERD! Except that he thinks the Colts will win. I bet he thought the Cardinals were going to win last year, too……..
No Revis Island that time, baby. TD faux-Saints! Marino to Fitzgerald! (How sexy of a combo would THAT have been?!)
Daughtry performs on the NFL Today stage, with their song “Life After You,” a pretty decent song – this is the first time I’ve heard it, though. Apparently Daughtry isn’t considered Alternative Rock out here in Washington, which is probably for the best. Silly Wisconnie.
And there’s good enough for 2 o’clock. I’m a HUNGRY! Catch you on the flip side, beyotches.
